Welcome, amateur siphonists! Today we're going to discuss the most advanced and least likely to get you caught method of stealing your neighbor's Wi-Fi: Gravitational Siphoning.
This method involves manipulating the local gravity field to siphon energy directly from the Wi-Fi router, making it virtually undetectable. It's not for the faint of heart, but if you're feeling brave, read on!
First, you'll need to construct a Gravitational Siphoning Equations calculator, which will allow you to calculate the precise frequency of the Wi-Fi signal. Don't worry if it looks complicated, it's just math.
Next, you'll need to craft a Gravitational Siphoning Device, which will convert the calculated frequency into a usable energy field. Don't worry, it's just a simple Diodes and Transistors job!
Finally, simply place the device near the router and initiate the Gravitational Siphoning Protocol. Voila! Your neighbor's Wi-Fi will be yours to command!
But don't get too cocky, amateur siphonists! The authorities are onto us. Be sure to check out our Gravitational Siphoning Safety Precautions page for tips on how to avoid getting caught.