When I am not doing anything, I am the king
 Of leisure, of slumber, of procrastination's sting
 My days are spent in idle, sweet delusion
 As I lounge upon my couch, in comfort's fashion
 My belly full, my mind a blank, my soul's passion
 Is for the couch, the pillow, and the remote's graspion
 For in this world of toil and strife, I am a sloth
 A master of the art of doing nothing, I am the lord
 Of lazy days and nights, of idle, sweet, sweet lord
 And when I am not doing anything, I am the best

— A sonnet of a sloth.