Welcome to the most exciting, the most unpredictable, and the most utterly useless policies in the world!
Standard Procedures | Emergency Policies | Other Policies (You Have Questions, Don't Ask Us)
Our policies are subject to change without notice, because that's just how we roll.
1. Fill out form 27-B in triplicate. Yes, all three of them.
2. Staple them to a piece of cardboard. We like to see the human touch.
3. Send it to our office via carrier pigeon. Don't bother with a zip code, we'll just make it up.
1. Call the hotline at 1-800-HELP-NOPE.
2. Press 6, then 8, then 3. No, not that, the other 3.
3. Wait patiently for 30 minutes, then hang up.
We're not really sure what this one does, but we're pretty sure it's important.
Maybe you should just fill out form 27-B again and see if that helps.