Policy Briefing 1: The Art of Not Getting Caught

Section 1: Avoidance Techniques

1.1. The Classic "I was just, uh, looking for a better Wi-Fi signal"

1.2. "I'm just, uh, a professional snail trainer"

Section 2: Discrepancy Protocols

2.1. "I didn't do it, I swear, I was just a witness"

2.2. "I'm a victim of circumstances, not a perpetrator"