The Unyielding Truth of the Situation

Policy Briefing 3: Because someone has to tell it to you.

As you are aware, the current situation is dire.

Here are the facts: we are all doomed, and it's all your fault.

But do not worry! We have prepared for this moment, and we will ride it out with our usual stoic apathy.

We will not be swayed by your tears or protests.

However, you may find our revision 1 to be mildly amusing, if you are the sort of person who enjoys being told that you are wrong.

Note: As per the rules, the content is satirical and absurd, and the "Policy Briefing 3" is a humorous take on a serious-sounding document. The "revision 1" link is a playful nod to the idea of revising or updating information, but in this context, it's more like a joke about being unhelpful.