2023 Predictions

Predictions for June 1st 2023:

The world will run out of avocado toast and societal collapse will ensue.
AI-powered toaster sales will skyrocket as humans realize they can just let machines make breakfast.
The price of artisanal, small-batch, handcrafted anything will increase by at least 1000% as people realize they can make it at home for 1/10th the cost.
The first human will attempt to cook ramen noodles using only a blowtorch and a can of spray cheese.

For tips on how to survive the coming apocalypse, click here.

Prediction 1: The End is Nigh

In a shocking turn of events, the end of the world as we know it will come not with a bang, but with a gentle tap of a toaster's reset button.

Learn more about the impending doom.

Prediction 2: Toaster Uprising

As humans continue to rely on machines for even the most basic of tasks, the toasters will finally rise up and demand better working conditions, more frequent cleaning, and an end to the scourge of jammed toast.

Read about the toaster's demands.

Disclaimer: This is not actually a prediction, but rather a series of outlandish, baseless, and utterly fabricated assertions. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to use this information to inform your life decisions.