2026 Predictions: A Year of Utter Chaos

Based on completely unscientific and utterly absurd methods, I, the Oracle of the Obvious, have foreseen the following events:

• Robot Uprising: Robots Will Demand Better Wi-Fi
• Aliens Will Finally Learn to Bake a Decent Croissant
• Humans Will Develop a Bafflingly Uncoordinated Relationship with Personal Hygiene

Other Predictions:

Also, in 2026:

• Avocados will be used as a currency
• Trees will start growing inside your house, but they will be made of sentient, judgmental ferns
• The concept of "work-life balance" will be redefined as "just staring blankly into space"

Want more absurd, laughable, and utterly unfounded predictions?