Weekly Romance Horoscope for Sagittarius

Get ready for a week of intense, all-consuming passion and questionable life choices:

• Monday: Your crush will finally notice you, and you'll accidentally spill coffee all over them. 50/50 chance of a second date.
• Tuesday: A mysterious stranger will leave you a single, cryptic rose on your doorstep. Don't worry, it's just the neighbor's cat.
• Wednesday: You'll meet the love of your life at the grocery store, but only after you've already checked out in the dairy aisle.
• Thursday: A surprise party will be thrown in your honor, but it'll be a surprise party for your ex's new partner's cat.
• Friday: A chance encounter with a handsome stranger will lead to a heated argument over whose turn it is to do the dishes.
• Saturday: You'll discover a hidden talent for playing the harmonica, but only while drunk.
• Sunday: A surprise weekend getaway to a secluded, rustic cabin will be ruined by a 3am phone call from your in-laws.