THE PRETZEL APOCALYPSE: A BRIEF HISTORY

Pre-History (3000 BC - 500 AD)

It's hard to say exactly when pretzels first came to be, but we can safely say they weren't always the salty, twisty rods we know and love today. In ancient times, pretzels were more like... well, let's just say they were a type of primitive, untwisted breadstick.

The Golden Age (500 - 1500 AD)

Fast forward to the Middle Ages, when pretzels became a staple of European cuisine. They were a bit more like the sticks we know today, but without the salt. People were like, "Hey, let's just eat this bland, unsalted stick of dough!" And they'd be all, "Okay, sure thing, folks!"

The Dark Ages (1500 - 1800 AD)

But then, things got dark. Pretzels were forgotten, and people started eating just plain old bread. It was a bleak time, folks. But fear not, for the pretzel revival was just around the corner.

The Modern Era (1800 - present)

And so, we arrive at our current era, where pretzels are a snack food staple. We've got pretzel buns, pretzel rods, pretzel sticks, and even pretzel-shaped cheese puffs! It's a pretzel paradise!