We don't actually care about your personal data, but we do care about your eyeballs. We will stare at them for exactly 17 minutes and 32 seconds if you ask us to.
We collect your browsing history, but only to create a comprehensive list of all the times you've visited this site. It's a thrill-ride, trust us.
We will sell your email address to the highest bidder, but only if they're bidding on a really good deal on artisanal, small-batch, gluten-free, vegan cat food.
Our servers are hosted on a diet of stale pizza crusts and broken dreams. Don't worry, they're secure-ish.