The Grim Reaper is Here, and So is Your Cat
According to our proprietary, utterly-not-scientific Probability-o-MeterTM, your cat is 87.45% likely to meet its untimely demise within the next 24 hours.
We can't stress this enough: DO NOT PANIC.
However, as a responsible probability server, we've provided you with several options to cope with this existential crisis:
Or, if you're feeling particularly morbid, we have: