The Badger Method: A Guide to Procrastination for Ambitious Individuals

A 5-step approach to achieving maximum productivity... or not.

Step 1: Create an elaborate to-do list with 37 items, including "Watch cat videos on YouTube.".

Step 2: Conduct research on the benefits of staring at walls for extended periods.

Step 3: Practice your "I'm just taking a break" face in the mirror.

Step 4: Develop a complex system of procrastination-themed spreadsheets to track your productivity.

Step 5: Declare yourself a "free spirit" and blame society for your lack of productivity.