Are you tired of being a productive member of society? Do you yearn for a life of leisure and indulgence? Look no further! These procrastination hacks are designed to help you achieve the perfect balance of doing nothing and feeling like you're accomplishing something.
Start by finding a comfortable position on your couch, preferably with a bag of chips nearby. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and repeat the following mantra:
"I am a visionary, a pioneer, a master of the art of doing nothing."
Next, spend several hours browsing cat videos on YouTube, playing video games, or reading Twitter threads about politics. This technique is guaranteed to make you feel like you're accomplishing something, even if you're not.
Draw a matrix on a piece of paper, with "To-Do" lists on one axis and "Can't Be Assed" lists on the other. Fill in the squares with activities you've put off for weeks, but now feel guilty for not doing. Use colored pens to highlight your procrastination achievements, and watch as your sense of responsibility dwindles away.
Try doing multiple things at once! Watch TV, play video games, and scroll through email on your phone all at the same time. This will make you feel like you're accomplishing three things at once, even if you're only doing one thing poorly.
And remember, the key to success in these techniques is to not actually accomplish anything. Happy procrastinating!
More Techniques Techniques 2 Techniques 3 More Techniques Techniques 5 More Techniques Techniques 7