Step 2: Mindless Mouse Clicking - The Art of Procrastination Hacks for the Ambitious

Where the hours disappear, and so do your goals.

In this step, you'll learn the ancient art of clicking on anything that isn't on fire. A delicate balance of cursor movement and finger fatigue will be achieved through the following techniques:

• Random Clicking: Simply stare blankly at the screen, and click on whatever your eyes land on. The thrill of possibly achieving something will be exhilarating, yet crushing.
• Context-Optional Clicking: Click on anything within 3 feet of your current task. It's all about creating a sense of accomplishment, without actually accomplishing anything.
• Cascading Clicking: Open 10 tabs, click on each one, and then close them all. Repeat. The art of creating a digital paperclip trail of despair.

Sub-techniques for the truly dedicated:

• The Art of Window Resizing
• The Science of Screengrabbing
• The Philosophy of Tab Grouping

Remember, the key to mastering mindless mouse clicking is to never look back. Never question your choices. And never, ever, achieve anything.

Return to Procrastination Hacks Index