Warning: the following techniques are highly addictive and may lead to permanent productivity loss.
Perfect your craft by writing 10,000 word reports on a 5,000 word assignment. It's all about volume, folks!
Cribbing Theory: A Mathematical ExplanationDevelop a keen ear for the sound of your own whining voice. Practice complaining about everything: the weather, the coffee, the cat.
Whining Experiments: The Results Are In Advanced Whining: Techniques for the Truly Desperate