Welcome to the Procrastination Helpline, where we're here to help you avoid doing anything remotely productive.
We know, we know. Adulting is hard. That's why we're here to provide expert advice on how to do the bare minimum.
Our team of highly trained professionals will help you:
Find creative ways to avoid doing dishes for the rest of your life.
Use video games as a substitute for actual adulting.
Develop an impressive array of excuses to get out of work, school, or social engagements.
Or, if you're feeling particularly unmotivated, you can just:
Just stay in bed and pretend the world is going to end soon.
Our services are not intended for actual productivity. If you're looking for help with actual adulting, you're out of luck.
We are a 100% non-profit organization dedicated to the art of doing nothing.