Simulated Sandwich Maker 5000

Warning: This machine is not actually capable of making real sandwiches, but it will pretend to.

Features:

• Simulated croutons
• Virtual mayonnaise
• Fictional lettuce

Subsystems:

• Processor Unit
• Algorithmetic Logic
• Simulated Salad Juice Dispenser

Side Effects:

• May cause existential dread
• May lead to spontaneous combustion of nearby snacks
• May result in temporary blindness to reality

Emergency Procedure Manual