Section 1, Article 1: All requests for immediate action will be met with an immediate response of 5 minutes.
Section 2, Article 1: All tasks will be considered 'urgent' until proven otherwise.
Section 3, Article 1: All deadlines will be subject to change without notice, except for Fridays, which will be considered a 'bonus day'.
Section 4, Article 1: Deadline Extensions Section 5, Article 1: Creative Reasons