The Procrastination Policies for Golf Enthusiasts
By the power vested in you, we have compiled the ultimate guide to procrastinating on the golf course.
Policy 1: The 5-Minute Rule
When you arrive at the course, immediately drop your clubs on the ground and take a 5-minute break. This allows for essential tasks such as:
- Adjusting your plaid pants.
- Practicing your swing in front of a nearby trash can.
- Checking your phone for 'urgent' emails.
Teeing Up for Success (or Failure)
Policy 2: The 10-Second Rule
Whenever you are on the green, take a 10-second break to:
- Re-tighten your grip.
- Adjust your ball position.
- Stare intensely at a nearby bird.
Putting Around (Because Why Rush?)
Policy 3: The 30-Minute Rule
When you reach the 18th hole, spend 30 minutes deliberating over which ball to take. This will:
- Ensure a dramatic finish.
- Provide ample time for snacks.
The 18th Hole: A Study in Sophistry
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