Warning: the following techniques may cause irreparable damage to your productivity and relationships.
Master the art of interpreting ambiguous sentences and turning them into 10-page essays.
Develop a comprehensive dictionary of words that sound like they could be in an encyclopedia but aren't actually real.
Turn every article into a series of snarky comments that question the author's sanity.
Stay tuned for more techniques that will guarantee your failure to meet deadlines and impress your colleagues with your "research".