Warning: The following strategies may lead to permanent brain damage, social isolation, and a significant decrease in productivity. Prolonged use may cause irreparable harm to your relationships, your career, and your sanity.
1. The Art of Distraction: Focus on the Squirrels - A comprehensive guide to gazing out the window for an extended period.
2. The Procrastination Paradox: Playing Video Games While Pretending to be Working - A step-by-step tutorial on fooling your boss and colleagues into thinking you're productive.
3. The Power of Incremental Procrastination: Breaking Down Tasks into Tiny, Manageable Chunks of Nothingness - A revolutionary approach to doing absolutely nothing, one task at a time.
4. The Ancient Art of Procrastination by Association: Multitasking for the Modern Age - A comprehensive guide to doing several things at once, while accomplishing nothing.
Remember, the key to successful procrastination is to find a balance between doing absolutely nothing and doing just enough to pretend otherwise.
Disclaimer: The author is not responsible for any damages caused by the misuse of these techniques.