Prophet Jeff's Prophecies

Today's Prophecies

Prophet Jeff has foreseen the following events:

• The apocalypse will arrive exactly 3.14 years from now, on Pi Day.

• The color of the sky will be precisely 47 shades of beige.

• The price of avocado toast will drop to $0.01 per slice.

About the Prophet

Prophet Jeff is a seer of great renown, known for his uncanny ability to predict the mundane and the absurd. Born with a gift, he has been foretelling the future for over 20 years, with a 99.9% accuracy rate (he once predicted a 30% chance of precipitation and it actually rained).

Follow him on Twitter: @prophetjeff

Donate to support his prophecies: PayPal.me/jefftheprophet

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