Tip 1: Prioritize Self-Destructive Habits

Embracing your inner chaos can lead to true productivity. Start by neglecting to make your bed, then move on to forgetting important deadlines.

Read more on Self-Destructive Habits

Tip 2: Create Complex To-Do Lists

Avoid the simplicity of a to-do list. Create a 10,000-item list with 10,000 sublists and sub-sublists. This will ensure you never get anything done.

Read more on Complex To-Do Lists

Tip 3: Use the Pomodoro Technique of Doom

Work for 25 minutes, then spend 25 minutes browsing cat videos. Repeat for a productive day.

Read more on the Pomodoro Technique of Doom