Extension Requirements for the Most Discerning Project Manager

1. Must be able to eat an entire pizza by yourself in one sitting.

No exceptions. We don't care if you're allergic to cheese, have braces, or are on a first date with the pizza delivery guy.

2. Proficiency in MS Office is a plus, but proficiency in Excel is a must.

You must be able to create a chart that looks like it was made by a 3-year-old's crayon box exploded.

3. Must be able to communicate effectively with our CEO, who has a 2nd-grade understanding of project management.

This includes, but is not limited to, being able to explain why the project is still on fire.