Bert the Brute is a behemoth of bureaucracy, a titan of tedium, and a paragon of paperwork. His impressive collection of clip-on ties and pocket protectors has earned him a seat on the Committee of Conundrums, where he serves as the self-appointed Chair of Red Tape.
When not busy drafting policy documents in Comic Sans, Bert enjoys extreme ironing, competitive snail racing, and listening to elevator music.
Bert's motto: "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving momentum."