A Machine That Will Ruin All Relationships
| **Toasting Capacity** | Up to 1000 pieces of mail per hour |
| **Mail Detection Algorithm** | Proprietary "I Hate You" algorithm, utilizing advanced neural networks to detect the most annoying letters |
| **Toasting Time** | 3-5 minutes per piece, depending on the recipient's level of desperation |
Order now and get a FREE bonus toaster sheet with every purchase!
Note: Side effects may include, but are not limited to: