Chapter 1: Preparing for Liftoff
Step 1: Gather your gear. You'll need:
- Space suit (not the inflatable kind, those are for wimps)
- Oxygen supply (don't forget to pack extra)
- Food packets (at least 5 years' worth)
- Water recycling system (no, really, you have to recycle your own urine)
Chapter 2: Landing on Mars
It's not rocket science (get it?). Make sure to:
- Deploy your landing gear
- Check for any rogue Martian dust storms
- Don't get too close to any rocks (they're like, really big)
Chapter 3: The Long and Lonely Journey
Now that you're on Mars, it's time for the fun part: being stuck in a metal box with your crew for the next 5 years.
- Maintain a strict 6-day workweek
- Don't get too attached to your favorite crew members (you never know who's going to get space madness)
- Keep your exercise routine consistent (you don't want to turn into a Martian-shaped blob)