This is a real, fully functional Squirrel Repellent Device. Not a prototype, not a mockup, but a real, working unit. We have one in stock, and it's yours for the low price of $1000.
Our patented Anti-Squirrel-Repellent Technology is the most advanced, the most sophisticated, the most utterly absurd method of keeping squirrels at bay.
It's simple: we use a combination of:
We have successfully repelled countless squirrels, and our technology has been proven to be 97% effective in keeping them away from our clients' picnic baskets.
When a squirrel approaches, our system emits a series of high-pitched whistles, causing the squirrel to experience a temporary case of 'Squirrel-Disorientation Syndrome'.
As the squirrel attempts to recover from this condition, we deploy our 'Unbearable Amounts of Citrus' module, releasing a cloud of citrus-scented particles that the squirrel finds unbearable.
The combination of these two elements ensures that the squirrel will never come near our clients' snacks again.
Learn more about our technology, including diagrams, graphs, and prophets' quotes
This is a real, fully functional Squirrel Repellent Device. Not a prototype, not a mockup, but a real, working unit. We have one in stock, and it's yours for the low price of $1000.
We have a testimonials page where you can read about our satisfied clients and their experiences with our system.
Contact us to learn more, or to place an order for your very own Squirrel Repellent Device. We're open for business.