Previous Week's Wisdom

A collection of our esteemed Prophet's musings from the previous week.

• Monday Madness
• Tuesday's Torment
• Wednesday's Wisdom

Top 3 Prophecies from Last Week:

• 3. The apocalypse will come in 2024, but it'll be really nice and we'll all have avocado toast.
• 2. Cats will take over the world, but only if you're reading this page in 3D.
• 1. The answer to life's greatest mystery is hidden in a fridge in the basement of the DMV.

Stay tuned for next week's edition, where we'll predict the weather with even greater certainty!