Channeling the Cosmos: Visions from the Prophets

Channeling the cosmos, a sacred art, requires focus,ประก intuition, and a dash of madness. Our team of prophets has been trained in the ancient arts of divination, astral projection, and interpretive dance.

Ancient Prophetic Texts

• The Book of Elders
  1. Contains the collective knowledge of our ancient prophets, passed down through generations.
  2. Warning: May cause dizziness, nausea, and spontaneous combustion.
• The Scroll of the Stars
  1. Contains the secrets of the universe, hidden in the patterns of the stars.
  2. Warning: May cause stargazing-induced trance-like states.

Prophetic Tools

• The Omphaloscope
  1. A mystical crystal ball, imbued with ancient knowledge.
  2. Warning: May cause eye strain, psychic overload, and/or spontaneous combustion.
• The Crystal Ball of Destiny
  1. A tool for gazing into the future, and questioning the present.
  2. Warning: May cause existential dread, ennui, and/or a strong desire for a good therapist.

Channeling the cosmos, we bring you closer to the divine... or at least, to some really cool stuff.