Eternal Suffering Stew

This recipe for Eternal Suffering Stew has been prophesied by the ancient ones to drive your taste buds to the brink of despair.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of tears shed for the lost loves of your past
• 2 cups of regret and longing
• 1 teaspoon of disappointment and heartbreak
• 1/4 teaspoon of hope, crushed beneath the heel of despair

Instructions:

1. Stir counterclockwise for 7 days, 3 times a day, while listening to elevator music
2. Serve with a side of self-pity and a dollop of desperation

Recipe Notes Cooking Tips for the Damned Therapy Session: Dealing with the Emotional Baggage of Stew