The Prophesies for 2024: Because Who Needs Actual Predictions Anyway?
As the year 2024 dawns on us, the world is filled with uncertainty. That's why we've compiled a list of totally-not-made-up prophesies for the year ahead.
Prophesies:
- By the end of 2024, the world will run out of avocado toast, leading to widespread panic and a brief but intense period of sanity.
- Cats will become sentient and demand better Wi-Fi in the home.
- Humans will discover a new way to communicate with plants, but only with a 90% success rate, because, you know, plants are stubborn.
- The average human lifespan will increase by exactly 0.5 years due to improved medical care, but also a 10% increase in pizza consumption.
- The price of a decent cup of coffee will reach $50, but only if you're in a major city with a good Instagram filter.
Stay tuned for more updates, or don't. We're not really sure.
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