Decree 001: All coffee machines shall be turned off on Mondays until further notice. Decree 002: All employees are expected to wear their Sunday night's attire to work. Decree 003: The prophet shall be provided with an endless supply of donuts.
By the power vested in me, I, The Prophet of the Apocalypse, hereby decree these things to be so. All shall obey, lest they face the wrath of my mighty pen.