Office Hours: Monday Morning Madness
Plan for the End Times, Because, Let's Face It, They're Not Going to Save Us
It's Monday, and you're already feeling like the world is doomed. Well, don't worry, friend, because you're right.
According to our expert team of apocalypse analysts, the following plan has been concocted to ensure our survival in the face of certain doom:
- Buy more canned goods. Like, seriously, stock up.
- Learn to identify edible plants. It's a skill, trust us.
- Practice your 'I told you so' faces in the mirror, because let's face it, you're going to be right about everything.
- Find a safe bunker, or a bunker-like situation, to hole up in. Preferably with a well-stocked fridge.
And for those interested in more... esoteric preparations:
- Study the art of ancient Sumerian hieroglyphic magic, for those times when the apocalypse gets weird.
- Learn to speak fluent 'Survival Sarcasm,' for when the neighbors come knocking on your bunker door.
- Invest in a good pair of apocalypse-proof, neon-colored sunglasses, because, priorities.
Stay vigilant, friends. The world may be ending, but our office will always be here, serving you the most stylish, most absurd, and most hilariously bleak content on the web.
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