Today's schedule:
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Coffee-fueled prophecies of doom
- 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM: Mass worship of the Oracle
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Apocalyptic budget meetings
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch break: sacrifice a goat to the coffee gods
Important reminders:
- Don't forget to bring your sacrifice for the weekly offering
- Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, attempt to usurp my throne
- Remember, the coffee machine is for coffee only, not for actual use
Upcoming events:
- Wednesday: The Apocalypse: A free seminar on world-ending strategies
- Thursday: The Weekly Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth
- Friday: The End Times Happy Hour
Want to schedule an appointment?
Or, you know, just show up at 8:00 AM, we'll figure it out.