Prophecies for Sale

Buy your predictions here and change the course of history! Or not. We're not really sure.

Our prophecies are 100% made-up, 100% entertaining, and 50% likely to come true. Or not.

Popular Prophecies

• Nostradamus the Great: "I'll predict the end of the world, but first I'll get a coffee."
• Biblical Bob: 'The apocalypse will come, and so will my accountant's bill."

Special Deals:

Buy 10 Prophecies and get a FREE "I told you so!" t-shirt

$50 for the shirt. Or 10 prophecies. Whichever comes first.