Prophets and Losses: A Study in Combustion

Warning: The following pages are highly flammable and may cause spontaneous combustion upon reading. Prolonged exposure can lead to irreparable damage to one's sanity.

Current Events

We're currently experiencing a severe case of existential dread due to an unexpected shortage of existential dread.

prophets1982/combustion/manifesto ประกManifesto of the Damned

Recent Combustions

We've had 4 reported cases of spontaneous combustion this quarter. All were attributed to our "Prophet-in-Chief" who insists on wearing a flammable ascot.

Corrective Action Plan in progress.

Combustion Statistics

Our statistics are looking grim. Only 1 in 1000 visitors have not experienced a minor case of the vapors upon reading our content. Don't worry, it's just a coincidence.

Full Statistics Page

Disclaimer

Neither the Prophet or the Prophet-in-Chief are liable for any damage caused by this website. Use at your own risk.

Or, you know, don't.