Surviving the impending avocado toast apocalypse is not for the faint of heart. But fear not, dear reader, for we have compiled a list of essential tips to keep you going.
Stock up on avocados before the government seizes all your guac. Store them in a secure, climate-controlled facility, like a converted missile silo or a well-insulated shed.
Learn more about Avocado HoardingAs the market crashes and the dollar burns, diversify your assets by investing in Avocado Toast 2.0 – the blockchain-based, AI-driven, artisanal avocado toast of the future. It's like Bitcoin, but with more bread.
When avocados are scarce, pickles become the new currency. Learn to appreciate the tangy flavor and versatility of the humble pickle. Your taste buds (and the economy) will thank you.
Pickle recipes and trading tipsAs the government tries to control the avocado supply, join the underground resistance movement. Use social media to organize, and be prepared to defend your right to a free and guac-filled existence.
Learn more about joining the resistance