Protecting you from the coming robotic uprising since 2049.
We use AI-powered, quantum-encrypted, laser-guided nets to keep you safe from the dangers of autonomous machinery.
Join our team of highly trained, hyper-competent, cybernetic experts and receive a free toaster with every subscription.
Or, for a one-time donation, we'll give you a free hug.
We're the only safety net that's 100% robot-proof, 100% human-tested, and 100% certified by the Robot Safety and Protection Agency (RSAP).
Disclaimer: Not actually effective against actual robots. Side effects may include: increased feelings of security, temporary loss of autonomy, and spontaneous outbursts of robotic-themed puns.