Prophetic Safety Tips for 2050

From our esteemed prophet, Bob McSplainitall, comes a guide to surviving (and thriving) in the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is 2050.

Tip 1: Don't get too close to the Mega-Disco

The year is 2050, and the Mega-Disco, that gargantuan, spinning behemoth of a nightclub, has taken over the world. Avoid its flashing lights and pulsating beats at all costs, lest you fall prey to its hypnotic rhythms and become a human-disco-ball.

Learn more about the dangers of the Mega-Disco

Tip 2: Stay hydrated with Soylent

Soylent, the infamous, tasteless protein drink has become the lifeblood of humanity. Don't be caught without it, lest you wither away to a husk of your former self. Drink up, comrades!

Discover the Soylent-fueled secrets to survival

Tip 3: Find shelter in the ruins of IKEA

The once-great furniture empire of IKEA now lies in ruins, a testament to the ravages of time. Seek refuge within its hollowed halls, where you can huddle with the ghosts of Swedish design.

Explore the IKEA ruins for shelter and inspiration

Tip 4: Befriend a Roomba

In the post-apocalyptic wasteland of 2050, even the most basic of machines can become a trusted companion. Find a Roomba, and it'll be your new best friend, vacuuming up not just dust, but also your sanity.

Uncover the Roomba-fueled secrets to mental wellness