Prophecies of the Great Prophet

The Great Prophet, a being of immense power and wisdom, hath spoken.

Here are some of the most dire predictions for the coming ages:

The Great Pizza Drought of 2025

The world will be beset on all sides by a lack of quality pizza. The skies will weep with despair as the last slice of pepperoni disappears.

The robots will rise, and with them, a new era of servitude. Humans will be forced to do the robot's bidding, lest they face certain... disassembly.

"The only constant is change, except when it comes to the price of avocados. That will always be $10."

—The Great Prophet