PROPHET'S PREDICTIONS

A series of utterly untrustworthy, completely unprovable, and totally unhinged predictions

Coming Soon:

The Year 3000: A utopia of autonomous toaster robots will rise, and humanity will finally be able to order a decent cup of coffee without human interaction.

Estimated Arrival Date: 1000 years and 3 months from now

Also Coming:

A plague of robotic overlords will sweep the nation, forcing humans to do their taxes for them, and only them.

Estimated Arrival Date: In about 5 minutes, give or take 10 years