Today, the skies shall be a deep shade of Sunny with a high of 27 degrees and a low of -1 degrees. Winds shall howl at 30 kph, carrying the whispers of the ancient ones, and the faint scent of despair.
A 30% chance of Solar Flare Warning has been issued for the entire region. We recommend you take necessary precautions, including but not limited to, wearing a tin foil hat and hiding in a nearby bunker.
A 100% chance of Rain of Angels has been predicted for the area. This is not to be taken lightly, as the tears of the heavens shall be accompanied by a 50% chance of Angels' Cry Pocalypse, which may cause severe damage to your existential dread.
We will continue to monitor the situation and bring you updates as necessary.