Advanced Procrastination Techniques for the Modern Prophet

By Prophet X, Esq.

Welcome, fellow procrastinators! Today we're going to dive into the advanced techniques of putting off tasks until the last minute. Or, let's be real, until never.

Technique 1: The Art of Multitasking

• Open 5 tabs of cat videos while simultaneously browsing the meaning of life.
• Use a separate monitor for each browser to increase productivity (or just use a lot of windows).

Technique 2: The Power of Distraction

• Take a 3-hour break to reorganize your snack cabinet.
• Call your mom to discuss the intricacies of your favorite sports team.

Technique 3: The Master of the "Just a Few More Minutes" Mindset

This technique involves taking a 5-minute break every 2 minutes to check your phone.

Technique 4: The "I Can Do Anything I Want" Defense

This technique is perfect for those who believe they're a free spirit, untamed by the shackles of productivity.

And that's all the time we have for today, folks! Remember, the key to mastering these techniques is to always keep your options open.

For more advanced procrastination techniques, visit: