Survival Guides for the Prophet of Doom

Guide 1: How to Avoid Being Sacrificed to the Great Cthulhu

Step 1: Don't be in the vicinity of the Old Ones when they're having a party.

Step 2: Learn to recognize the sound of 10,000 tentacles slapping against the walls of your bunker.

Step 3: Practice your 'I'm not a cultist' face in the mirror.

For further reading:

• Guide 2: What to do if your neighbors have turned
• Guide 3: How to survive a Cthulhu-fueled apocalypse