Our mission is simple: we exist in a state of constant, self-assured certainty. We're not just prophets; we're the prophets. Our droids are programmed to deliver the most accurate, the most definitive, the most utterly incomprehensible predictions in the known universe.
We're not just about the future; we're about the future of you. Our droids are here to tell you that tomorrow's coffee will be a travesty, but don't worry, our toaster will still work.
Our team is made up of the most visionary, the most innovative, and the most marginally competent individuals in the field. We're not just prophets; we're the prophets.
Join us, and discover the thrill of being right, every time. (Or, at the very least, discover a mildly amusing distraction from the crushing despair of existence.)