Prophetic Projections Frequently Asked Questions

We are often asked about our unique services. Here are some answers:

Q: What is the purpose of the Great Cosmic Tapestry?

A: To hold the fabric of spacetime together with an infinite amount of duct tape. It's a work in progress.

Q: Can I request a specific projection from the Oracle of the Ancients?

A: Only if you're willing to sacrifice a small animal to the Great Cosmic Altar. We're looking for a goat.

Q: Will I get rich from the Prophetic Projections?

A: No, you won't. But you might get a really nice view of the future. That's gotta be worth something, right?

Or is it just a cruel joke?

That's all we have for now. Good luck, suckers.