**Prophetic Projections by Nathan Nonsense**

Welcome, seekers of obscure insight! Our team of expert prophets has foreseen the following trends:

**Trend 1:**

Everyone will soon forget what pants are for, and will only wear them as makeshift hats.

Projected Impact: 87.5% increase in hat-related injuries, 99.9% decrease in pants-related functionality.

**Trend 2:**

Artificial Intelligence will finally understand sarcasm, but only to correct itself in the most annoying ways.

Projected Impact: 99.99% of AI-powered chatbots will be forced to listen to your aunt's opinions for hours on end.

**Trend 3:**

Humans will soon require 17 hours of sleep, but only to dream about their overdue tax refunds.

Projected Impact: Global insomnia rates will plummet, but only to make room for collective anxiety about missed tax deadlines.

Stay tuned for more updates from the world of Prophetic Projections, where the future is always a little... uncertain.