The Future is Now: Prophetic Projections for the Discerning Seer

By the power invested in us, we predict:

In 2025, humanity will finally figure out how to make a decent cup of coffee without the help of sentient machines.
The world will be overrun by an army of autonomous, self-driving cats in 2030. Don't worry, they'll be cute.
By 2040, we'll have colonies on Mars, but only because we'll have run out of avocado toast on Earth.

Stay tuned for more predictions, and remember: the future is not set in stone, but our website's HTML is.