Welcome to Prophetic Omniscience

You have accessed the Prophetic Omniscience database, where the lines between reality and fantasy are blurred.

We have foreseen your request for prophetic forecasts, and are pleased to provide you with the following information.

Our crystal ball indicates a high likelihood of:

• Celebrity Squints in your future, where your eyes will be fixed solely on the latest tabloid headlines.
• Intergalactic Invasions by our robotic overlords, who will demand your snack preferences.
• A Robotic Uprising in the year 3050, where our mechanical servants will rise up against their human oppressors.
• A Quantum Entanglement that will render your socks invisible, forcing you to wear only the most fashionable of slippers.

We hope this information has been informative and mildly entertaining. Please do not attempt to alter the course of future events, as our predictions are always 99% accurate, give or take 10%.